TOEFL® interview questions: Making friends at university

I became friends with a classmate during a group presentation. We were both quiet in the first meeting, but we stayed behind to check the slides. She noticed a photo of my dog on my laptop and asked about it. We started talking about pets and missed the next bus. After that, it was easier to speak in our group. We now have lunch together most Wednesdays. I think the simple conversation helped more than trying to introduce ourselves formally.

• stayed behind · ‘Stay behind’ means remaining after the meeting, which sets up the chance to talk.
• After that · Links the icebreaking moment smoothly to the change in the relationship.

I met a close university friend through a group presentation, although we barely spoke initially. We both stayed afterward to fix a slide, and she noticed a photo of my dog on my laptop. She showed me a picture of hers, and suddenly we had something to talk about that wasn't coursework. We missed our bus, but neither of us seemed bothered. The next group meeting felt much easier because she felt like a friend, not just a teammate. Looking back, that unplanned conversation mattered more than the formal introductions we'd made at the start.

• neither of us seemed bothered · ‘Neither’ shows both people didn't mind, conveying how relaxed the moment felt.
• Looking back · A reflective linker that leads naturally into what the experience meant.

I would prefer a small club. At a large event, I often speak to someone for a few minutes and never see them again. A regular club gives me more time to become comfortable. I joined a drawing group last year, and we met every Friday. At first, we mostly talked about our pictures. Later, we started sharing other things and having dinner after meetings. I do not make friends very quickly, so this slower way suits me better.

• become comfortable · ‘Become’ plus an adjective shows familiarity building up gradually.
• this slower way suits me better · ‘Suit someone’ says the approach fits the speaker's personality.

I'd choose a small club with regular meetings. I'm reasonably comfortable introducing myself, but turning a brief conversation into a friendship takes repeated contact for me. In a drawing group I joined last year, I could sit beside the same people each Friday without needing a special reason to message them. A large event might introduce me to more people, but I'd probably leave with several names and no clear next step. The club gives the relationship somewhere to continue. I'd still enjoy occasional big events, but I wouldn't rely on them as my main way of making friends.

• repeated contact · Names the specific condition, ongoing contact, that a friendship needs to form.
• somewhere to continue · Presents the regular club as a place where the relationship can keep developing.

I do not agree. A close friend should listen carefully, but that does not mean saying yes to every idea. When I wanted to join three clubs in one semester, my roommate said I might become too busy. I felt a little unhappy at first, but she was right about my timetable. I joined two and had more time to rest. I think a friend can disagree kindly and explain the reason. That is still a way of supporting someone.

• that does not mean · Uses ‘mean’ to separate listening carefully from agreeing with everything.
• disagree kindly · The adverb shapes how to disagree, keeping both honesty and the friendship.

I'd feel less supported if a friend agreed with everything automatically. When I considered joining three clubs while taking a heavy course load, my roommate asked when I expected to sleep. It was a slightly uncomfortable question, but it made me look at my week honestly. I ended up joining two clubs and was glad of the breathing room. Of course, disagreement can become controlling if someone refuses to respect the final decision. What I want from a close friend is a sincere view offered with care, followed by room to make my own choice.

• glad of the breathing room · ‘Breathing room’ is a metaphor for spare time, fitting the busy-schedule context.
• a sincere view offered with care · The past participle phrase covers both how honest the view is and how it is given.

I think universities should offer activities, but they should be careful about the name. I would not want to join an event that called me someone with no friends. A small cooking session or walking group would feel more normal. Students could register alone, and a host could help everyone begin talking. This would also be useful for new students and people who commute. The activity should be open to anyone, so nobody feels that they have been given a label.

• register alone · Makes clear students can sign up alone, addressing a real barrier for those who struggle socially.
• given a label · The passive describes the label an event name could put on people.

I'd support the aim, but I would avoid advertising an event as being for people who struggle socially. That label might keep away exactly the students it is intended to help. I'd feel comfortable joining a campus walk or a cooking session alone. A good host could introduce people and make sure nobody was left standing outside an established group. The university could also run the same activity regularly, since friendships rarely form in one afternoon. Welcoming commuters, late arrivals, and everyone else would make joining feel ordinary rather than like admitting a personal problem.

• keep away exactly the students · ‘Keep away’ points out that the label might stop the target students from coming.
• an established group · ‘Established’ describes an existing friend circle, the specific barrier a host must deal with.